The Five Love Languages: Military Edition

"Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself."
 - Dr. Gary Chapman

In 1995, Dr. Gary Chapman, a highly esteemed relationship counselor  published the first edition of his book The Five Love Languages. He had developed a theory based on 5 specific "languages" people feel and convey love to others: 

-Words of Affirmation

-Quality Time

-Gifts

-Acts of Service

-Physical Touch.

 In the books, he examined each language thoroughly, and outlined practical ways in which couples can discover their own individual love language and use it to love one another more effectively. In 2013, Dr. Chapman partnered with author Jocelyn Green and published a military edition, geared specifically to military members and their partners. Dr. Chapman understood that military relationships function under a very unique dynamic, and require unique attention in order to thrive. In this new edition, he outlines specific ways that military couples can strengthen by utilizing each other's love language. Here are some examples; 

1.  Words of Affirmation:

• "Before deployment, write love notes and secretly tuck them away in various places in the service member's bag."
• "If you (partner) is stressed when he or she calls you, allow them the opportunity to vent. Don't try to fix the situation unless asked."
• "Share what you love, admire, or respect about your (partner) in a letter or during one of your phone or internet calls."

2. Quality Time:

• "Create your own website together. Post all your news and latest photos weekly for your sweetheart. Write an online journal to keep your loved one up-to-date."
• "Make a scrapbook of things that took place while the service member was away. You'll spend quality time reliving the memories with him or her after homecoming."
• "Tell your (partner) things like, 'I can't wait to spend a day ___ with you again.' Fill in the black with a favorite shared activity."

3. Gifts

• "Send your service member care packages with favorite baked items and something he enjoys having, such as a special soap, food items, etc."
• "Service member, bring home unique gifts for your (partner). Tell her when you've purchased it just so she knows you've been thinking about her."
• "Create a coupon book for your (partner) to redeem when you are together again."

4.  Acts of Service

• "Create a special place where your service member can relax after returning home."
• "Service member, if your (partner) is ill, email friends near her and alert them. Ask (them) to bring meals or make a run to the pharmacy."
• "Connect with your (partner's parents) and ask them to share recipes that were meaningful to them when (they) were growing up. Make a family recipe book and tell him about it."

5. Physical Touch

• "Send handwritten letters. Unlike emails, these are tangible pieces of your love that your (partner) can touch."
• "Spray some perfume or cologne you normally wear on a card or piece of fabric and send it to your (partner)."
• Service members, arrange for a professional massage for your (partner) at home."

I highly recommend both editions of this book. It not only provides personal insight, but also reveals details about your partner's inner personality. When you understand one another on a deeper and more emotional level, you can dig further into your relationship and show love in the specific and unique way you each crave. The ideas above are only a few of the many ways you can utilize your sweetheart's language. Once you've determined what your languages are, create your own ideas for making your loved one feel special! 

*Don't know what your love language is? Here's a quick quiz that can help you find out!

• http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

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